


The Life We Have

by TomatoBookworm



Series: Her Heritage [2]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Jiaying, Team as Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-06
Updated: 2018-12-06
Packaged: 2019-09-12 16:51:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16876593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TomatoBookworm/pseuds/TomatoBookworm
Summary: Skye and May talk about Jiaying and Afterlife.





	The Life We Have

**Author's Note:**

> You don’t have to read “Learning to Say” to understand this story, just know that May is a fluent Mandarin speaker and she has been teaching Skye Mandarin in their spare time. 
> 
> Set towards the end of season 2 finale.

Skye jumped at the sound of a door opening. She looked up from the floor.

 

“Mind if I come in?” May asked at the entrance.

 

Skye gave the older woman a small nod. May walked in and sat down beside her on the floor.

 

“He’s sleeping now,” Skye said, breaking the silence. “My Dad. I have a Dad, who loves me enough to kill my mother. He’s not dealing with that very well, actually asked Simmons to knock him out with meds. I promised him I’d be there when he wakes up, but right now I just need a moment, you know?”

 

“And you chose the vault,” May said.

 

“My control is still shaky sometimes,” Skye admitted. “Don’t want to bring the base down by accident. Fitz is going to design a containment module to withstand Inhuman powers. Lincoln said he will explain what happened to others, and he doesn’t think anyone would blame S.H.I.E.L.D., but we need a secure holding cell in case her loyalists want revenge. Until then, this is the safest place.”

 

“Safe for whom?” May asked. She turned her head and looked directly at Skye. “No one is coming after you now, and your control has improved tremendously. What are you afraid of?”

 

“Yeah, I am getting better at using my powers,” Skye said. She tilted her head to avoid May’s gaze. “Last time I used it, I managed to knock the Quinjet into the ocean while my mother was trying to kill me. I don’t know if I am going to trigger any earthquakes if I start crying about her.”

 

“We will deal with it if you do,” May said. “You are allowed to cry for your mother.”

 

“Would she even want me to?” Skye asked. “She wanted to kill me. I ruined everything. She was happy in Afterlife. She built the whole place from scratch and made her own family there. All these Inhumans, learning about their heritage from her. All of a sudden I came along and reminded her of everything she lost, everything she suffered. I exposed her to the world, so she decided to attack before it could hurt her again. She would still be living peacefully in Afterlife if it wasn’t for me.”

 

May was silent for a moment. “You said she built Afterlife. What did she actually call it in Chinese?”

 

“I think it’s Lai Shi,” Skye said. “Lincoln said it doesn’t translate well into English, so they call it Afterlife. Does it actually mean something else?”

 

“Yes,” May said. “來世 is a concept in Chinese Buddhism. Remember our Mandarin lessons. 來 means ‘to come,’ and 來世 is ‘the life that is to come.’ When a person dies, he or she reincarnates to the next life.”

 

“There you go,” Skye said. She let out a long shuddering breath. “She even said it in the name. She moved on, didn’t have a husband or daughter anymore in her new life, and I ruined it.”

 

“She was admitting that her life ended once already,” May disagreed. “In Chinese Buddhism, you don’t always reincarnate as a person. At the moment of death, you look at your life’s worth of deeds. What you have done, what you learned from it, that’s what determines your next life.” She paused for a moment.

 

“According to Cal, your mother was a good woman who loved her family and cared for her people,” May said. “She died under Whitehall’s hands. The woman that came back, the one who took innocent lives to put herself back together, the one who murdered people in search for her child, that wasn’t the same person anymore. She allowed her pain to consume her. You didn’t do anything to her, Skye. She had already chosen her path.”

 

“You don’t think she was happy in Afterlife?” Skye asked in a small voice.

 

“I think it was her personal hell,” May said. “The Chinese Buddhist concept of hell is different from the Christian version. The torture reflects what one did wrong. She had committed atrocities to look for her daughter, and she was doomed to watch over other young Inhumans as they grow. Every time she guided a new Inhuman through the transformation, she must have remembered her own child and wondered what her family would have been like.”

 

“I didn’t measure up to what she imagined then,” Skye said. The floor shook faintly under her. “Back in the orphanage, I kept on telling myself that one day, my real mother would find me and she would love me just as I am. She did find me, but she couldn’t give up her plans for the Inhumans. I wasn’t good enough for her.”

 

“She couldn’t see anything beyond vengeance,” May said. “That had nothing to do with you. She fell into her hell the moment she chose to use her powers to come back to life. You are not to blame for her actions.”

 

Skye hugged her knees close to her chest. “Where do you think she is now? In another life? Or… somewhere else?”

 

“I don’t know,” May said. “I never think about what happens after death. Just focus on the life I have.”

 

“Will your life include S.H.I.E.L.D.?” Skye asked. “Coulson said you asked for personal leave.”

 

“I am going to take a vacation,” May answered. “After that, we will see.” She placed a hand on Skye’s shoulder. “I am sorry your mother wasn’t everything you had hoped for, but you still have your team. Regardless of whether I come back to S.H.I.E.L.D., you can always come to me if you need anything.”

 

“Thanks,” Skye said. She turned to look at May for the first time since they began the conversation. The ground stilled beneath them. “For what it’s worth, I will always think of you as a part of my team.”

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> 來世: Lai Shi, Afterlife, the life to come
> 
> I actually agree with the show’s decision to use Afterlife as the name for the Inhuman compound. It’s the usual English translation and easy for characters to say in dialogue. However, Jiaying’s first language is almost guaranteed to be either Mandarin or another Chinese dialect. When she set up her Inhuman compound and named it Lai Shi, she had to be thinking of the term’s connotations within Chinese culture, and I find the whole thing heartbreaking. 
> 
> I am toying with the idea of continuing this verse with either short scenes of May & Daisy talking about life and death (after season 3 deaths of Andrew and Lincoln? Post season 5 finale?) or more lighthearted ficlets of Daisy actually learning and enjoying her Chinese heritage. Let me know if you would be interested in seeing anything in particular!


End file.
